Game of Thrones 69: Nice

This story contains major spoilers through the most recent episode of Game of Thrones.

We are warmed to our core. Relationships were mended, characters connected, and the White Walkers got jealous and finally arrived at Winterfell.

Honestly, nothing of importance happened in this episode. Rather than the Night King splitting wigs and the dragons roasting bones, this episode felt more like answers to the questions that we had: Will Tyrion get fired? How’s Dany going to take the news about Jon? Are Gendry and Arya going to get it on? This was an episode on our favorite characters’ relationships and wrapping up character development to make way for conflict.

Tensions in the Winterfell conference room ran high as Dany confronted Jaime Lannister over the atrocities he committed.  Brienne’s knightly nature saved Jaime and he returned the favor by making us realize that her character is now superfluous. The knighting scene was heartwarming and cheesy and gave no substance to the plot.

Since Brienne achieved her dream of being a knight and holds no other plot-thickening oaths to anyone’s parents, her lifespan may cap out in the forthcoming episodes.

If anything, this episode hinted at character changes each key role underwent. Bran realizes that Jaime’s former self died with the removal of his right hand, without which–as aforementioned in a heated lecture by the late papa Tywin Lannister–he would be nothing.

Sansa and her future sister-in-law (cousin, rather) hit it off as they gushed over who seduced who in Jon and Dany’s relationship. Sansa wanted to make it explicit that the North will remain sovereign, and that love is for weenies. But when Sansa brought up the North being outside the umbrella of rule under the king/queen of the seven kingdoms, she becomes stiff and abrasive and sends her relationship with Dany back to square one.

Cersei and her gaggle of shit-hooks were absent for “Game of Thrones 69.” Her plotline is a ticking time bomb that could blow at any second, offsetting the North and the larger problem at hand. Tyrion mentioned the love she has for her children, referencing the kid she’s about to have and how the kid was her reason to help everyone and survive. Thinking back to the scene when Cersei was a kid herself, she and her friend snuck off to some forest and came across a witch who spoke of Cersei’s future.

In accordance with the witch’s prophecy, her kids dropped like flies, and Cersei may have come to terms with this, which Tyrion was unaware of, leading to his mistaken belief that Cersei would help the cause in the North. Cersei’s twisted mind makes her the only character who is incapable of growth.

Unlike our dearest, young Arya Stark.

The scene with her and Gendry knocking boots in the crypt was another demonstration of character development. It seemed like all she wanted was a quicky to see what all the sexual fuss is about, which is understandable, but useless for progress.

That’s not to say that we didn’t see this coming, but there wasn’t a sliver of romance in that scene and certainly no time to fool around. The main action was coming in hot as everyone prepped for a zombie invasion, and the directors snuck in some more “action” for the viewers.

Also, watching her grow up season by season has been great and all, but she was so young, only yay-high when the show began; there was no need to take away the only shred of innocence left in this show.

The most crucial piece of information we received was a reminder of Bran’s greater role in the story. Given that Bran is the closest thing to the Internet that Westeros has, the Night King wants to get his greedy little mitts on Bran to delete the world’s browser history and say “smell you later” to existence.


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Raisin Bran Stark

And so the night settles in, as we lay the age of Game of Thrones to rest.