Raisin Bran Stark

Published by Alex Schumacher on

Raisin Bran Stark

This story contains major spoilers through the most recent episode of Game of Thrones.

And so the night settles in, as we lay the age of Game of Thrones to rest.

For some, part of your lives shattered into oblivion as you spent years growing close to people who never existed. And for those who found the light in later seasons, your HBO subscriptions may have met similar ends.

     On to the show’s obituary:

The grey setting gave a fitting mood for the audience. Tyrion sifted through the rubble ash that used to be his home, only to stumble upon the bodies of his beloved brother and deplorable sister. Rekindled self-pity brought him to confess his disapproval to Dany, and he renounced his duty as Hand of the Queen.

Supporting Dany proved to be a mistake after all. During another imprisonment, Tyrion conspired with Jon about what must be done. Tyrion revealed two options: Either the world would be ruled by a murderous tyrant, or, there would be no tyrant.

The question on all our minds: What the hell was going through Drogon’s head? He finds Jon standing over Dany’s lifeless, punctured body and takes his anger out on the Iron Throne. This wasn’t the vengeance we saw coming, but at least the throne and the chaos it created melted away in Drogon’s flames. Somebody, please explain why Drogon flew off with Dany’s body?

Drogon threw Jon a “get out of the dungeon for free card” by making Dany’s body disappear. Apparently Jon’s above that though, so he confessed to Grey Worm and stewed in jail for a couple of… days? Weeks? Fuck these time lapses.

Take your time, writers. Nobody wants this story to end.

Now to solve the whole no King/Queen problem. Never mind Samwell’s stupid proposal for logic and democracy. After multiple refusals of a title, Bran decided that the crown might look good on him. To make it official, Tyrion slapped the cruel title, “Bran the Broken,” as if he hasn’t gotten enough shit.

Brienne caught herself in her feels as head of the King’s Guard. We saw her fill in the missing information on her late lover’s (Jaime Lannister’s) page as a King’s Guard. She tried her best to not exclude any detail from Jaime’s triumphs and defeats, but she had to keep it PG 😉. Brienne, you poor, honorable sweetheart.

Arya went full Christopher Columbus and sailed west to explore. Forget the God of Death and Faceless Men. The directors thought that the best way to answer our questions to a world they didn’t create was to tease the idea of another world outside of Westeros. Despite making Arya a badass assassin and war hero, Benioff and Weiss left her as a sailor who introduced the beginning of the Stark Navy.

Sansa’s Queen of the North. She stuck to her independence and officially seceded the North from the seven kingdoms.

Jon was sentenced back to the Night’s Watch. Even after Grey Worm split for Naath, Jon stayed with the Watch and went to live among the wildlings again as a free man. Aside from the “Jon is a Targaryen” storyline being introduced a season ago, he went full circle back to the Night’s Watch, which left many fan theories dead in the water.

Despite a downgrade in writing and a digression from plot and poetry, the story that became part of our lives came to a bittersweet end with the good guys on top. With this, we bury the coffin containing the body of our past that once held hopes for Jon’s justice and Westeros’s paradise.

Thank you George R.R. Martin, David Benioff, D.B. Weiss and every Game of Thrones fan for gifting us with this world of cinematic wonder and the values taught. For better or for worse, the Game of Thrones era will not be forgotten.

Rest in Peace, Game of Thrones

*Wipes tear from face*


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The “Wall” Street Journal

With all theories regarding the Night King and the future of Westeros shattered, we’re on track for some much-needed unpredictability. Talks of treason returned, and our weekly dose of tragedy has been administered as we can return to making conspiratory notions.


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